Why am I keeping it a secret?!

Honestly I don't know why.

I should be more open it.
But there's a part of me that just wants it all to be a secret.
It's hard for me to talk about.
And I feel so defensive talking about it.
Which is really not healthy.
I need that support group.
But I'm working on it.
My friends now know I'm going to aerobic classes.
And I'm not really ashamed anymore.

Just sometimes,
it feels like
I'm hiding something
Which I shouldn't be
Because I'm not doing anything wrong.

Truth is,
I'm scared.
Scared of failing again?
Yup.
The same feeling the first time I tried.
I didn't want people to know I was going to the gym
So I went when no one I knew would go.
And then, I quit.
"oooh, I'm too lazy"
this and that.
and we're back at square one.

It's hard.
and I still feel that keeping it a secret is the way to go.
I just need to break this wall.
it's for the best!