It's one thing to laugh at someone.. it's another to just make them feel urgh! by what u said

I may not know you.
And you may not know me.
That does not give you the reason to judge me.

anywho, i wanted you to see the blog coz i wanted support.
not for you to ridicule me.
I don't need that.
Not right now,
Not ever.

So, you can go pack up your sense of ridicule and go picnic somewhere else.
HAHAHAHA as a response.
hmmm
not the most supportive response out there now, is it?

I've just had enough of all this.
Enough is enough.

*angry*

Why am I keeping it a secret?!

Honestly I don't know why.

I should be more open it.
But there's a part of me that just wants it all to be a secret.
It's hard for me to talk about.
And I feel so defensive talking about it.
Which is really not healthy.
I need that support group.
But I'm working on it.
My friends now know I'm going to aerobic classes.
And I'm not really ashamed anymore.

Just sometimes,
it feels like
I'm hiding something
Which I shouldn't be
Because I'm not doing anything wrong.

Truth is,
I'm scared.
Scared of failing again?
Yup.
The same feeling the first time I tried.
I didn't want people to know I was going to the gym
So I went when no one I knew would go.
And then, I quit.
"oooh, I'm too lazy"
this and that.
and we're back at square one.

It's hard.
and I still feel that keeping it a secret is the way to go.
I just need to break this wall.
it's for the best!

Progress, progress!

Okay.

Let me give a rundown of what's happening.

But basically, that just says

1. how much i've lost. haha. shh! just a lil bit. duhhhhhhhhh, its only been like 3 weeks!

2.drinking more fluids!

3.eating more veggies and fruits!

4. healthy snacks! - pistachios and clementines! yum!

5. more exercise!- zumba class and power remix!

    The instructor even knows me! lol

    *note: last semester I went once a week. what would you expect? nothing much? exactly!

6. keeping naughty food out of the house! No soda or chocolates ( as of now)

7. more baking/roasting than frying!

I've been kinda sick so I haven't been going to the aerobic classes! And I have exams next week so I'm having a holiday! Must resume on Wednesday after exams!

Need to work on portion control!

It's so funny. It's like the facts are all there.

It's just a matter of putting everything in perspective. The hard thing to do.

I'm working on that trust me.

I'm even working on self-image.

The people who go to the gym will most always be skinny already. But who cares?

Don't let that get to u.

It's just not worth it!

:)

-Mizah-

90 days to graduation!

Yeah,it's 90 days to graduation!
And 90 days to a new me! ( or at least try to )
and hence, a new blog!

Honestly, I was supposed to type this all up like a month ago, when it was 120 days

then i tried shooting for 100 days

then now, finally 90 days!

officially!

better late than never right?

The first step of problem solving: define the problem and realize that you have a problem.

And yeah, I have a problem. 

I know I have a problem. I've realized it and I want to make a change.

It's not gonna be easy.

And I've failed before so I know how that feels like. Fell off the wagon, they call it.

On a positive note, this will definitely make in much more sweeter in the end!

like a big bowl of mint chocolate chip ice cream with whipped cream and colored sprinkles on top.

After doing much research, they say documenting everything is the way to go so you're always on track.

I've tried this before, even. 

And yes, this is trial number dos!

Let's see how it goes.

:)

-Mizah-